Stop checking your phone every 2 minutes. Get on with your life. Resist the urge to text him (Don’t send him a text by ‘mistake’ either, this is the most obvious thing in the world. I am guilty of this). Wait for him to contact you first and then reply. If he doesn’t contact you for 2 days after the date you can send ONE text. If you don’t get a reply, DON’T send another one. I really can’t stress this enough. Let it go and go on with your life as normal.
I know the instant gratification of sending a message to a man when he seems to be uncommunicative. DON’T DO IT, you WILL regret it. If he’s not communicating because he’s unsure of whether he likes you the best way to put him off is to keep texting him. If you keep your cool and give him space he may warm to you again. Don’t assume anything. One or even five dates does not give you a right to act as though you’re already his girlfriend.
DON’T GET DESPERATE. It’s not attractive. Take my friend Lana. She went out on a date. Really liked the guy, great date, chemistry galore. He texted her the next day and she replied. He didn’t text for 24 hours. She texted him, he replied, she replied. Then nothing. Another 24 hours went by. She texted him. No reply. A few hours later she texted to say ‘Why are you not replying to my texts?’ No reply. The next day she phoned him. He didn’t answer. She left a message on voice mail. No reply. A few days later she sent a nasty text. He replied to that, called her a psycho and a stalker and told her never to contact him again. Does this seem harsh? Actually no. I would have had the same reaction as that guy. It’s not appropriate to think that after one date you have a right to constant communication from a man. He may be in a shit space. He may be swamped at work. Maybe he’s having family stress. Maybe he has flu and he’s spending some time in bed..
Or he may need some time to assimilate you… now this is something people don’t get. They seem to think just because they work in a certain way that everyone else does too. You may have instantly fallen in like and wanted to put the relationship on the fast track but maybe this guy needs more time than you. Give him that time. Let it go. And if he’s not calling because he didn’t feel a spark then you just have to put on your big girl panties and move on. He has a right to not want to be with you (even if it means he’s a total idiot who doesn’t realise how fabulous you are.) Calling or texting him all the time won’t do anything other than push him further away. So you have nothing to gain and everything to lose if you become a text stalker.
Facebook is a grey area. It’s so new that we still need to understand the etiquette when it comes to dating and social networking. Basically facebook is like a continuous conversation. You can post a status about your date but don’t gush. ‘Good food, great wine, better conversation.’ is a doable status. ‘Wow, I am soooooo in love’ is dating suicide. You can also check his profile and if he’s commented on you, comment right back. You need to remember that if you’re friends he can see and read what goes on on your profile. Don’t post about him by name, it’s not polite.
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